Fayette County Clinic:
Washington CH, Ohio

Phone 740-335-6935
Crisis 740-335-7155

Floyd Simantel Clinic:
Chillicothe, Ohio

Phone 740-775-1270
Crisis 740-773-4357

Highland County Clinic:
Hillsboro, Ohio

Phone 937-393-9946
Crisis 937-393-9904

Lynn Goff Clinic:
Greenfield, Ohio

Phone 937-981-7701
Crisis 937-393-9904

Martha Cottrill Clinic:
Chillicothe, Ohio

Phone 740-775-1260
Crisis 740-773-4357

Pickaway County Clinic:
Circleville, Ohio

Phone 740-474-8874
Crisis 740-477-2579

Pike County Clinic:
Waverly, Ohio

Phone 740-947-7783
Crisis 740-947-2147

 

 


powered by centersite dot net
Sexuality & Sexual Problems
Resources
Basic InformationLatest NewsQuestions and AnswersVideosLinksBook Reviews
ActionAmerica UnzippedAmerican GirlsAnatomy of a BoyfriendAnatomy of LoveBest Sex Writing 2005Better Sex Through YogaBetter Than EverBoys Don't CryChildren with Sexual Behavior ProblemsCold HitCybersexDare... to Try BisexualityDilemmas of DesireDoing ItDoing ItEarly Embraces IIIErotic InnocenceErotic PassionsFinal JeopardyFinding H. F.For The Bible Tells Me SoFrictionFrom Disgust to HumanityGay, Straight, and the Reason WhyGetting the Love You WantGoing DownGood GirlsGreat Answers to Difficult Questions About SexHard to GetHit & MissHomosexualitiesHooking UpHow Sex WorksHow to Create Chemistry with AnyoneHow to Give Her Absolute PleasureHow to Have Magnificent SexHow to Make Great Love to a ManHow to Make Great Love to a WomanI'd Rather Eat ChocolateIn a Queer VoiceIn the Mood, AgainIt's Perfectly NormalIt's Perfectly NormalJane Sexes It UpKids Gone WildLet's Get This StraightLikely to DieLove and DesireLove and SexLove JunkieLustMaking Peace with PornMale SexualityMaster BreastsMiddlesexNormalNormalNot GayNot My ShameOedipus WreckedOn Being RapedOne Hot SecondOne Hour in ParisOrgasmOrgasm Inc.OrgasmsPlease Don't Kill the FreshmanPornifiedPornlandPornographyPoxPredatorsPremarital Sex in AmericaPrivate Practices DVDRainbow PartyRapeSex (Ed)Sex and SpiritSex and the American TeenagerSex and the SoulSex and the Soul, Updated EditionSex Fiends, Perverts, and PedophilesSex in CrisisSex ObjectSex PositionsSex Q & ASex, Therapy, and KidsSexting and Young PeopleSexual Boundary ViolationsSexual DevianceSexual EcstasySexual FluiditySexual IntelligenceSexual Orientation and Psychodynamic PsychotherapySexual Teens, Sexual MediaShamelessSurviving Sexual ViolenceTalk to Me FirstTestosterone RexThe Better Sex Guide to the Kama SutraThe Birth of the PillThe Blue Moon Erotic Reader IIIThe Chemistry Between UsThe Clitoral TruthThe Emergence of SexualityThe End Of AliceThe End of SexThe Essential KamasutraThe Fate of GenderThe First TimeThe Happy Hook-UpThe Miseducation of Cameron PostThe Only Girl in the CarThe PervertThe Pornographer's GriefThe Purity MythThe Real Truth About Teens and SexThe Right to Be ParentsThe Science of Intimate RelationshipsThe Sex Addiction WorkbookThe Sex Lives of TeenagersThe Sex MythThe Sleep of ReasonThe Story of SexThe Ten Minute Sexual SolutionThe Vagina MonologuesThings Tom LikesTransTransUltimate SexUntangling the WebUntrue VirginVirgin NationVirgin Sex for GirlsVirgin Sex for GuysVirginity LostWastelandWhat Does Consent Really Mean?What Women WantWhat's Happening to My Body? Book for BoysWhat's Happening to My Body? Book for GirlsWhat's Happening to Tom?When Sex Goes to SchoolWhen the Piano StopsWhere Do We Fall When We Fall in Love?Wilhelm ReichWomen and Child Sexual AbuseWritten in the FleshYou Know Me WellZen Sex
Related Topics

Family & Relationship Issues
Homosexuality & Bisexuality
Medical Disorders

by Wednesday Martin
Spark / Little, Brown, 2018
Review by Christian Perring on Sep 25th 2018

Untrue

We are familiar with the high rate of infidelity in the US, and it's easy to understand it using the stereotype of men wanting sex and women wanting security and intimacy. Wednesday Martin argues against this stereotype, arguing that females in many primate species are motivated to engage in sex outside their main relationships for a variety of reasons. In this wide-ranging book she explores female initiation and engagement in infidelity, extra-marital sex, multiple partners, polyamory, and other forms of women's pursuing non-traditional relationships. She is not necessarily a proponent of alternative life styles, but she is certainly interested in exploring them and does not judge those who live in those ways, except in positive ways such as believing that rejecting monogamy is brave. She writes from her first person perspective but says little about her own life. She does say that when she was in her twenties in NYC her relationships often overlapped. She wanted to have affairs but she didn't want her boyfriends to have them, and she was aware that this was a double standard. Now married and a mother, Martin shows no sign of wanting to explore outside of her marriage. There are a few comments near the end about how discussing the issues raised in the book with her partner were helpful to their relationship.

So mostly Martin took the role of researcher and anthropologist. She meets with experts of various kinds, and also does her own interviewing of women who have engaged in infidelity. She explains how while infidelity is common and marriage is becoming less common, yet we are also becoming less tolerant of infidelity, with more people judging it to be wrong. So our attitudes towards marriage and infidelity are complicated: it seems that we view marriage as more of a choice, and if you choose it, you should be faithful.

The book is often light in tone, full of interesting stories and charismatic characters. Martin examines remote tribes, primate behavior, polyamory in the US, women's sex toy parties, and the place of marriage and fidelity in modern culture. The writing is strong, making the book engaging and provocative. Martin makes a convincing case that there is less asymmetry between men and women when it comes to infidelity than is commonly supposed, and women are often interested in a variety of sexual experiences that is hard to satisfy in a monogamous relationship. Further, while she never pretends that having multiple partners is simple or easy, she makes a case that it can be an option that works for some people.

 

© 2018 Christian Perring


Christian Perring
 teaches in NYC.