|Basic InformationLatest NewsQuestions and Answers|SexAnxiety and SexSexual Obsession? OCD?Is The Word 'Not' Missing?Help me Fight With my Sex DriveAnxiety Over Sexual FantasyWhen I Talk to Women My Eyes Fall on Their Boobs AutomaticallyDifferences in BedMy Boyfriend Cannot Have SEXEx-Girl Friends Pictures on Boyfriend's ComputerHow Can We Stop Our relationship From Falling Apart?Husband Never Wants Sex, Prefers to Masturbate. I'm Lonely...How to Prevent Any Relapse Into Pornography?Should I be Discouraging my Girlfriend's Masochistic Fantasies?Lack of Sex Drive at a Young age?Strange Sexual Fantasies Sex Feels Wrong Now That I'm PregnantFriends with BenefitsIs My Boyfriend Suffering From Some Kind of Sexual Problem or Is He Lazy in Sex?Intercourse Doesn't WorkSexual Genetic Programming Difficult to ControlCan a Marriage Survive Without Sex?Can We Make This WorkCan Attraction Come Back?Fear of Sex in Hubby Due to ED and Constriction in ChestWhy Won't He Have Sex With Me?Alcohol, No Sex, No Intimacy...Why Am I Here?Is He Gay?I'm Really Lost Too Different?No Sex Drive - EverHe Doesn't Feel the Same Way About Me But... HELP, With My Sexuality?My Boyfriend Has NO Sex DriveSame-Sex (Gay Boyfriend) Doesn't Desire Sex... Why?I'm 21, Female, With No Sex Dive, and it is Ruining my MarriageHow do I Reconnect With my Partner?Growing Apart In A Marriage Is It Him Who Is Too Hard To Trust Or Is It Me?What Is Happening To Me?No SexSingle Mom in Relationship, Withholding Affection, Stand-Off?My Boyfriend Wants to Experiment With MenMy Fiancee, The Wall Is UpI Think My Husband has Sex and Intimacy IssuesHow Can I Talk About My Greatest Fear?Husband and DaughterInorgasmiaOverdriven and Uncontrolled Sex Drive Needs Daily MasturbationHow Can I Recover My Sexual Drive that has Diminshed Severely Post-Surgery?Is it Transference or A Real Crush?Bipolar and sexual dysfunction?It Just Keeps Getting Worse, SarahMask and Encasement Fetish, MeteNo Sex DriveFiancee is bi-sexual I feel ugly and smell and smell down below. Is this normal?Holding ThroatSadistic Sexual Fantasies - Erotica.My wife and her sexualityI can't stop jerking off! How can I stop masturbating?My girlfriend and I have been having intercourse for over 2 1/2 years and she has yet to orgasmHow Can I Aviod Sexual Anxiety?My depressed husband won't sleep with me. What should I do?Religious wife is conflicted over husband's desire for anal playA wife writes: "Somehow, we have not yet had sexual intercourse"Rough SexWhy is he ruining our relationship?Religious wife regrets premarital sex; won't sleep with husbandSexual AnxietySex is great, but I dont like to do it.I beg you to give me your suggestions - Saman - Aug 4th 2008 "A Man's Perspective," Nick H. July 9, Men, Women, Marriage and SexI am a beautiful girl.....so why is my boyfriend selfish in bed?Alarming childhood issueRough SexChronic User-NEED ADVICE - Bryan - Mar 12th 2008Low Sex DriveSmoking fetish- looking for helpIs My Husband Gay ?Husband has low sex drivegender hatredBored husbandLooking at other women's breastsMy fiancée left me because of my past porn useSame Sex CuriosityNever been kissed but wanting sex ... (please help advise)Can I become a virgin again?Asexuality?Nude women an issue?swingerI have to imagine I'm a sex victimWe don't get much enjoyment from sexIs something wrong with me? (sexual question)Sexually Frustrated in KansasTerrified I'll Do something Sexually InappropriateHow can I stop using Porn?Boyfriend Talks DirtyOnline GamesFrustrated LesbianGay PornBondage and DisciplineCompulsive SexDecreased InterestCompulsive Internet Porn UseProper Sex Not HappeningTroubled MarriageI Rarely Want To Have SexMy Husband Won't Touch MeA Sexual ProblemLacking In IntimacyAmbivalent ExhibitionistI'm 40 But Still Feel Like A Teenager When SexualPornography #1Is Male Interest In Pornography Normal?I Think He May Be GayHusband Hates SexWants To Cross DressAntidepressants and Sexual DesireLow Sexual DesireIt's Not The PillsAftermath of the ThreesomeSexual Disorder?Sleep TalkerAm I A Prude?MasturbationLack of InterestCross-Dressing BoyfriendNo Desire For Sex 2Was I Sexually Abused?Can A Marriage Withstand Group Sex?Sex and IntimacyUncomfortably NumbNot There for MeI've Lost Interest in SexLosing My Sex Appeal?Orgasm Without Sex?!My Sex Drive is Out of Control!Sexual FantasiesTumultuous RelationshipMy Husband is a Cross-DresserArousal Disorder?Recovery TimeShould I Swing?Orgasmlessjb writes:VideosLinksBook Reviews
Troubled MarriageMon, May 31st 2004
I have been married for 35 years. We never had sex before marriage due to our strong religious foundation. Presently my wife has refused to be intimate with me since August of last year. First of all I feel that it is my fault. I am a combat wounded veteran of two wars and suffer from PTSD. This has affected my wife. I love her with all my heart, but in a counseling session she commented that she was not sexual attracted to me in explaining why she was not intimate. Since our marriage she talks to herself. I mean it is not like a one way conversation. It is as if someone is taking back to her. She even laughs and uses hand movement and gestures when talking. I am a form Green Beret and have had 5 orthopedic surgeries and have severe chronic pain. I am under the care of two doctors who prescribe my pain medications. My wife say that I am addicted to pain medication. Today I saw my pain management doctor and emptied my basket so to speak. I stopped taking my pain medication two months ago by myself and showed him my bottles with the seals still intact and he looked at the dates. He cited numerous reasons that "I was not addicted" to pain medication because a person with an addiction does not stop taking their meds, they try to get more and do other things that show that their medications are a priority with them. My wife and I attended counseling sessions and the counselor a CCAS (Certified Chemical Addiction Specialist) stated that there was a thin line between addiction and dependency. My MD at the pain management center tells me that have no characteristics for be addicted to the pain medications and that he has had only a few out of thousands of his patients who were in fact addicted. My wife has an appointment with a psychiatrist and tells me that some of her problems have nothing to do with me. One issue she has with me is that I made a promise not to email a high school female friend who is getting married on the 10th of May. I promised, but when I got an email that she was getting married I returned a congratulations note. I have always been open and honest with my wife and told her this. Of course she was upset that I did not honor my promise. I apologize, but it seems that she is full of hurt and angry for some of my actions over the last 20 years. I try to be the best husband I can be. I send her flowers twice a month, cards, buy her gifts, fix her coffee at 0530 in the morning, fix her breakfast, and do all the house work since I retired from the military in 2000. I do this out of my love for her. I tell her frequently that I love her with all my heart. I would be interested in a general opinion of what is going on with her. She is 58 years old and I am 62. It has been difficult to be doing all the giving and not getting any receiving. At one point I asked her if she was unhappy with me that she might want to consider a divorce to find the man who is perfect and meets all of her ideas for a good husband. She replied that she did not want anyone else. It really seems that she is consumed with hurt and angry due to some of my behavior. I pray every day about our situation. We read the Bible every night and have devotional readings also before we go to bed. This is much more than a question, so evaluate the situation and I would like to see what you think. I love her with all my heart and I am willing to do anything to rebuild our marriage.
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
- 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.